You Are The Love That You Seek…

“You have so little faith in yourself because you are unwilling to accept the fact that perfect love is in you, and so you seek without for what you cannot find within.” 

~ A Course in Miracles

What would your life look like if you believed that the love you’ve been looking for is within you? I’m not talking about conditional love that will only do for you if you do for it. I’m not talking about the kind of love that’s only there for you in the good times but not in the bad ones. I’m not talking about the kind of love that plays games and sends you mixed signals just to keep you guessing. No, I’m talking about the kind of love that is perfect in every way. It can fill up the cracks, gaps, and holes in your soul left by a painful past. Unfortunately, society has conditioned us to believe that we’re not worthy of perfect love and that perfect love only exists in the movies. Think about how you would move in life differently if you truly believed that you are the love that you are seeking? I imagine you’d handle yourself with gentle hands instead of being so rough with yourself. You’d stop looking at yourself and others through the eyes of judgement and finally believe that you and your neighbor are enough. 

We live as “human doings” instead of as human beings. After we left our mother’s womb we ceased to be and now we “do”. As “human doings” we’re on the constant search to find something or someone who will ease our pain and satisfy our soul. Once you find what you think you’re looking for you’ll do anything to keep it in your life. However, it is of the utmost importance that you understand that there is nothing you need outside of you that you can’t find within you. Addiction doesn’t only come in the form of drugs, but it can come in the form of people, food, sexual perversions and many other things. What would your life look like if you let that person or thing go for good? You are stronger than the lies you’ve been telling yourself about yourself.  

I’d be remiss if I didn’t tell you where this perfect love originates. God the same spirit that created everything you see and don’t see is that perfect love for which you have longed. He doesn’t have love he is love. When he breathed eternal life into you he endowed your spirit with himself…perfect love. The love within you is eternal because he is eternal. When you decide to stop looking outside of yourself for temporary lovers, you’ll realize that your spirit is a storage facility filled with everything you’ll need from now until eternity. Align yourself with the truth of your identity which is that you are perfect love and not the lie that you are anything less than that. Align your mind with the mind that created you.  It is only then that you’ll see that there is nothing outside of you, and that lack is an illusion. Then and only then will you begin to experience the true love you are and that you deserve.






What Would Love Do?


Remember, in the 1990s (whoa that sounds like a long time ago!) when the W.W.J.D.? “What Would Jesus Do?” bracelets were popular to wear among Christians. There were supposed to be a friendly reminder so that you could pause for a moment to approach life’s issues in a Christ like manner. The fad may be over but the message is still relevant today. What would love do? It’s easy to love the people that you like and are most similar to you. Furthermore, it’s easy to love when it’s convenient or will it benefit you the most. However, love isn’t just an emotion or something that you can pick and choose who you will give it to and receive it from. Love is a lifestyle and it’s our true hue/true identity. Everyday we must make a choice to either act of our true identity which is love or our ego, false identity, which is fear.

5 Steps To Choosing Love

  • Step 1: There are only two real sources of energy working with us in the universe Love & Fear. When we work together with love or fear we will live a lifestyle that is reflective of them. Example: If you have a fear based mentality in which you believe that everyone is out to get you then you will attract people in your life that intend to do you harm. Love and fear attract more of what they are to them. Love cannot exist where there is fear.

Everything we do in life is motivated by either love or fear, and they both have different facets.

Facets of Fear: Shame, Guilt, Pessimism , Zero Sum Mentality, Lack, Judgment, Hate, Doubt, Anxiety, Envy, Gossip, Procrastination, Living a Reactive Instead of Proactive Life, Destructive Criticism, Overly Cynical, Being Self-Centered etc…

Facets of Love: Peace, Joy, Kindness, Patience, Generosity, Gentleness, Faithfulness, Self-Control, Optimism, Proactivity etc…

  • Step 2: Remember who you are. Your true hue/true identity is love. You must solidify in the spirit of your mind that you are love because you came from God and God is love. You are one with that which is love. Since there is no beginning or ending to love/God, then the love of God which you are resides in your spirit. That is the 1/3 of you that is just like God because it’s eternal. Hence, the reason why you were made in the image and after the likeness of God.

“I searched for God and found only myself. I searched for myself and found only God.” ~ Rumi

The truth that you are love has to be more than a mere affirmation that you confess every morning. It has to be downloaded into the spirit of you mind to the point where love is your first reaction. You have to love to the point where you don’t have to think about it because you no longer see yourself as separate from God/love.

  • Step 3: Identify your love blocks. Earlier I mentioned that it’s easy to love when it’s convenient, will allow you to have the advantage, or is someone you like. Love is a decision we make everyday and furthermore it’s a lifestyle. We’ve thrown the word around so much that in some ways we’ve become desensitized to its true meaning and power. For example, I used to be very selective in who I chose to give love to and receive it from. Truth be told, I didn’t recognize it until it was brought to my attention. We don’t get to decide who we will love and who we will receive it from. You have to love people for the mere fact that they exist, and that can’t be based off of whether they are nice to you or not. Or any other superficial things.

Where in your life have you stopped the flow of love? Refer back to the different facets of fear. An easy way to help you identify your love blocks is to think about the people or issues in your life that make you squirm with uneasiness or that cause a knot of anxiety in your stomach. Think about the things you are afraid of…Where are you working with fear and its many facets in your life?

  • Step 4: Love By Any Means Necessary. There is no bigger war going on than the one between our ears. Once you’ve identified your love blocks you have to act now and act fast on them. You have to attack your fear with love. I can tell you that it’s not going to be fun, easy, or convenient. A few weeks ago, an opportunity to love showed up in the form a woman that was incredibly condescending towards me. I could’ve snapped back with an attitude just as rude as she did to me but I didn’t. You have to condition your love muscles. Just like muscle has memory, your “love muscles” will remember how to react when an opportunity to love presents itself because you live love as a lifestyle…and not just at church, around spiritual people, or people that you like.
  • Step 5: Love Yourself Unconditionally. Everything I said above means absolutely nothing if you don’t love yourself. If you’re used to putting conditions on your love then this is a challenge that you are built to overcome. You have to love all of you no matter how good or bad you think you are…You have to love you from the inside (spirit/soul ) to the outside body. How can you love your neighbor as you love yourself if you don’t love yourself? If you treat people better than you treat yourself then you’re giving to them out of an empty cup. What’s in the cup is for you and the overflow is for everyone else.

In closing, when you live from your true hue, love, then you have the ability to change the environment around you. Think about the people in your life that light up a room by their mere presence. It’s not magic. It’s love. Love is magnetic and people are attracted to it because they want more of it. Remember you are only missing what you are not giving in your life. If you want love recognize that you are love and move forward from there.

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Note To Self: Trust The Process…


Can you believe that 2012 is almost over, and that we’re a few weeks away from the new year? Perhaps, you’ve already started to think about your new year’s goals or intentions. While I was thinking about my goals for 2013, I felt this sense of anxiety come over me as if it was trying to swallow me up! I started to worry about how I was going to achieve more of my goals in 2013 than I did in 2012. In the midst of my mental whirlwind of fearful thoughts, I heard “trust the process” in my spirit. It was quiet and calm enough so that I knew that it had to be God reminding me to put my trust in him instead of my own finite human ability.

“Trust” just like, “love” and  “friend” is a word we tend to throw around easily without giving it some true thought. Trust evokes words such as  CONFIDENCE, FAITH, and BELIEF. Where is your confidence, faith, and belief for the present moment,  2013, and the rest of your life? Have you entrusted God to take you through the many processes of your life ,or are you still calling all the shots? Whether your goals are physical, spiritual, personal, relationship, financial, or business oriented there is a process you have to go through in order to get to your goal.

Granted, everyone would love to skip over the “process” and go straight to the end. However, a person who starts off on top is only digging a hole for themselves. In the process of working towards a goal you’ll learn so much more about yourself than you would have if you had been able to skip to the end. The process prepares you to be able to handle and appreciate the attainment of your goals because you know what it took for you to get there.

Key Things To Remember

  • Trust is an expression of your commitment. How committed are you to the process of achieving your goals?
  • In the midst of the process, check your mindset. Are you thinking with a fearful mentality? Are you scared that there are not enough resources in order for you to reach your goal? Are you thinking with a love-filled mentality? Where there is love there is abundance. When you look through the eyes of love you’ll see abundance of time, money, energy, people etc. Your love and commitment to the process will be the driving force to help you to push pass lack.
  • Although the many faces of fear (doubt, worry, panic, anxiety) may knock at the door you don’t have to let them in the house. You can’t produce anything when you’re operating from fear. Love is productive.
  • “In all your ways acknowledge God and he will direct your path.” Proverbs 3:6 You don’t have to achieve your goals in isolation. You have an ever-present help in God, and he’s one with you. He’s not up in the clouds or in some distant galaxy. He’s within you. When you acknowledge or ask God for help he will make the path to your goals straight. He will open doors that would’ve been closed for you…that’s called favor not luck! He will bring people into your life that will help you to achieve your goals. Simply…Ask. Believe. Act (action steps to your faith)
  • Don’t despise the day of small beginnings. As I said earlier, the only person who starts off at the top is digging a hole for themselves. You may not be able to see the big picture or you may have to start small. 
  • Keep Going!

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Approval Addiction: Your Mouth, The One Thing That Might Be Blocking You From Achieving Your Dreams

Artwork by Olivier Dressen “Hero”

One sure-fire way to nip approval addiction in the bud is to close your mouth. It sounds easy, but it can be a bit challenging if you’re used to asking 50 million other people to  validate you and your ideas. I speak from experience because for many years I valued other people’s opinions over mine. First, let’s get a clear understanding of approval addiction. Every addiction doesn’t involve drugs, alcohol or sex, but all addictions are based in fear. An addict relies on something or someone outside of itself to satisfy the dependency. With that said, an approval addict fears that they are not enough. They also have deep seeded issues with  accountability, responsibility, and failure. They typically lack the self-confidence to go through with an idea without getting the green light to go from someone else. They also like to have a scapegoat to blame for their ideas falling through. The scapegoat is synonymous to a having a cushion. Someone to soften the blow of a failed idea.

If you’ve dealt with approval addiction like I have, then closing your mouth and not telling everyone about your dreams will work wonders for you! However, you’ll have to be willing to go COLD TURKEY to accomplish your dreams. Closing your mouth will get rid of your cushion a.k.a your scapegoat. It will move you out of your comfort zone of asking everyone else first and make you have to trust yourself whether your idea fails or succeeds. Closing your mouth will hold you responsible and accountable for the decisions that you make for your life. Think of your dreams as seeds. A seed has to be planted in fertile ground, watered, and have the proper amount of sunlight in order to grow into a plant. When you tell the wrong people your dreams, you give them the opportunity to snatch your dreams a.k.a your seeds out of the ground. If you’re addicted to approval then it’s not hard for other people’s words to kill your dreams. You have to keep your dreams, your seeds, close to your heart as you go through the process of nurturing them until you are finished with them.

Artwork by Mariah Post

 You can seek wise counsel about your new endeavors, but you have to know the difference between wise counsel and dream snatchers. Sometimes your family and friends can be dreams snatchers. They will typically focus on the negative side of your goals instead of the positives. For example, they may tell you that it’s going to be “incredibly hard, you can’t do it, you should wait another 2 years, no one else has ever done it before, no one in the family has done it” etc… Whereas, a wise person will support you in your dreams but they will stand in truth and not allow themselves to be your crutch. They will focus on the positive side by encouraging you to go for your goals. They are people who have reached a degree of success in their own lives.

Truth be told, we train our dream snatchers how to treat us. Therefore, some dream snatchers are not necessarily “haters” or jealous of you. They are simply reacting to you based off of the training that you gave them. You gave them the manual on how to treat you. This was a large and hard pill for me to swallow. I had to take responsibility and accountability ,two things that I feared, for the way people treated me. It wasn’t good enough for me to have conversations with them about it. I have to show it to them but especially for me. As an approval addict you have to retrain people how to treat you, and you do that first by treating yourself differently. The new you in your true hues. You have to show people and yourself that you aren’t the feeble one that they are accustomed to giving advice. This is especially tough when you’re going through rough times and you need that scapegoat to tell you it’s going to be all right .

Lastly, let’s address the concept of failure. As American, I believe that my culture has in many ways ingrained the fear of failure into all of us. It’s the idea that if you don’t reach a certain level of material wealth or status that you’ve failed. That you must have done something wrong or that there is something wrong with you if don’t reach your goal. When in actuality, if you know that you are one with God and since there is no failure in God then there is no failure in you. Even the Bible says that  “For in Him we live and move and have our being” ~ Acts 17:28 If your first idea doesn’t work out the way that you planned it then try another way. Don’t give up and let fear win. “Failure” is simply an opportunity to try it again another way.

 Love Yourself Enough To Believe In You and Remember God Always Has An Open Ear! So STOP talking and get to work!

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